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Don’t listen to these ads. These lying, down right disgusting ads. They make me sick. In the words of my drinking buddy Shakespeare  “Nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.” these are.

Roids is your friend. Mmmmmm Roids, yes … It’s good. Under the big toe nail. Yes, very good.

Personal feelings aside. No wait! They started it! It should be personal, they came into my life. They came into my magazine, into my shop, into my sphere. They come branding stinging words and bold sayings. Where’s my gun! Bring me my semi women! And my slippers!

I guess this all depends on which side of the fence you lie. Am I one of these people they say I shouldn’t be? Should I cower away, hide from who I am.  Or is this a calling, a calling to become something better than I am? Is this my calling? Is this skins thing going to change who I am? How much is it? I need one, I want one. Wait.. What is it?

I remember a time when all you needed to workout was a stick, couple of rocks,  snorkel and a six pack(not the muscle kind).  When men ate dirt not nutrient shakes with a boost of creatine. What’s happened to us? What’s happened to you guys? What’s happened to the one handed push up whilst holding a beer in the other hand. Yes, yes this how I work out. After my 50 cock push ups. Yes you heard me. The no handed cock push up. They exist!

Don’t be that guy!

Don’t be Mr hair gel

Don’t be Mr 5 min warm up, 3 sets of girl curls, how’s my hair looking, I need to get dressed in my gym gear. Yes I have a wardrobe for when I work out. Yes that’s how seriously I take it.  You see this, yes that’s what you called semi ripped. And after a few more shakes and curls – with the help of my gym buddy Eduardo – that’s what you will called  ripped!

Do I hate this ad -no

Do I hate the people who would buy this product – Yes

Does this ad work – yes

Do you need to say “don’t do this” and then go on to say “do do this” – no

Do I like the art direction – kinda

Do you have to show what you say – kinda not

Should I stop writing – yes

Should you stop reading this – yes

P.S don’t wear this is product in prison when working out.


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This entry was posted on September 6, 2012 by in Print.
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